I need to start being more thankful for the blessings I have in my life. Sometimes when life gets to be more difficult than I would like, I take to feeling sorry for myself. I put myself in a funk. I allow all aspects of my life to be affected by one event, person, toe stub. I make myself miserable. I blame others. I become angry and resentful. I make a plan to never be in a position to be hurt again. Meanwhile, I pretend that I'm strong with sarcasm and disregard for pain. But the truth is always under my words. The pain is an annoying twinge in my side. It will suddenly catch me off guard. It will catch my breath. It will make me light-headed and create a lump in my throat. But the pain is still there.

How to deal with it? I have no answer. But I have amazing friends who drag me out of my apartment and force me to have a great time whether I want to or not.  I have family who have unconditional and undying love and care and concern for me. Sometimes overbearing, but what good family isn't?

I need to be grateful. I need to count and then count again. My blessings are endless. And that's all I need to know.