Dear Houston Drivers,

First and foremost: you suck. I don't just mean as drivers. You suck as human beings. You are part of what makes modern society a horrible place to raise children. You start wars. You cause forest fires. You are the reason behind world hunger. You may not have directly started these, but your attitude is the same as those who have. You are mean, ruthless individuals without common decency. You would rather risk the lives of all others on the road, including the innocent babies and puppies, than to slow down to 71mph (in a 60mph zone) and let someone in front of you.  Your focus for getting off the interstate and into the exit lane backfires since you don't let those who are in the exit lane and want to join the horrible traffic of I-10 ON TO I-10.

Houston Drivers, I do understand that you probably turned off your alarm this morning instead of getting in the shower when you were supposed to. You probably stopped to listen to the song you couldn't get out of your head. You may have even stopped to play a round of Angry Birds, just to brighten the mood of your morning. The interstate is not a round of Angry Birds though. There is no reason to slingshot yourself across 4 lanes. You are not actually connected to the car in front of you, so allowing 20 ft between you and the car in front of you will not break the invisible rope holding you two together.

I'm late for work too. I turned off my alarm. I listened to the song I went to sleep and woke up with in my head. I restocked my imaginary fashion store on my phone. I could have been on the road 30 minutes ago. I could have breezed through my morning routine, but instead I cut some lemons for the week. I ate some peanut butter. My cowlick just would notcooperate. I'm annoyed. I'm laughing at the radio and not paying the attention that I should to the road. But you riding up my ass makes none of this better. In fact, you make me want to slam on my breaks because there is no way you can stop since you're so close behind me I can't see your headlights.

Your car cannot push mine. I will not go faster because I happen to know where the police sit to watch for A-holes like yourself. I know this, because I have been pulled over when speeding to avoid an A-hole like you! Get off my ass get off my ass getoffmyasssss!!! I am doing my best to stay out of your way. Stop changing lanes when I do. I'm not your tour guide. If you don't like my speed, there are 4 other lanes, go around me.

Houston Drivers, try to be kind. "Kill 'em with kindness" and not your reckless driving. Let people switch lanes when they have the forethought to put on their blinker. Do not speed up so you can avoid letting someone in. You didn't need to go that speed 3 seconds ago, you don't need to go that speed now. Do not keep people from being able to get on the interstate because you insist on driving in the lane next to the entrance ramp. Do not ride so close to the person in front of you that you can see the details of my wonderful hair-do.

Do unto others, Houston Drivers, because if you don't start, I'm going to start calling the police with license plate numbers. P. S. There is no tax on blinker usage.

 Sincerely,

Katie Murphy

P. S. There is no tax on blinker usage, so feel free to start USING YOUR BLINKER.